You've Got To Be Kidding

   

Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About The Sarcastic Ball Including Operating Instructions

In the book, Odd Ball, Jobbi’s mental facility for matchmaking is a skill which he inherited from his great-grandmother. It is almost impossible to duplicate.  The closest most of us will ever get to that sort of ability is through using some sort of psychic tool, like an answer ball. Answer balls, such as the Sarcastic Ball used in this book for instance, display much of the same sensitivities as Jobbi and do a good  job of honing in on what it is that is really most important to us as social beings. Don’t be fooled by the approach the Sarcastic Ball takes to answering your questions. It’s actually much like your friends when you ask them a question. They really enjoy farting around, that’s probably why you’re friends with them, but behind their light-hearted, outward displays, what they really want most, is to be helpful to you.

There will soon be a link here that will allow you to ask a virtual Sarcastic Ball a question. A virtual ball, however, would not be aware of your personal aura or the vibrations that you create around you. Not the way a real, four-dimensional Sarcastic Ball, that you can hold in your hand would be. Perhaps a little more background on the Sarcastic Ball itself, is in order.

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Often, the reason answer balls, like the Sarcastic Ball, aren’t given the credit they deserve is because most people don’t really know how to use one properly. The Sarcastic Ball is actually a variation on the ancient art of crystal (ball) gazing or scrying. Almost anyone can use a Sarcastic Ball and get decent results from it by following a few simple rules. There are, however, a few rare individuals among us, to whom the Sarcastic Ball speaks much more clearly and revealingly. They are the people who possess an unusual sensitivity to our world and are able to see, hear and sense things that a majority of us never do, a gift handed down from distant ancestors.

Whether you are unusual or only average, here are a few important details that everyone should keep in mind when consulting a Sarcastic Ball.

First and foremost, you must never, ever shake a Sarcastic Ball. If a Sarcastic Ball is shaken, it gets upset and stays that way for hours, stubbornly refusing to provide any proper answers. Many a fool has been led astray by shaking and annoying a Sarcastic Ball.

All questions to a Sarcastic Ball must be phrased to get a yes or no answer. The Sarcastic Ball is at its best when the questioner’s mind is in a state of unease about something:  “Should I go to the dance?” “Do I dare wear this?” “Do I actually need to study for this test?” “Is she really a friend?”

There is also a proper way to ask the Sarcastic Ball a question. To begin, it is essential to remain absolutely calm. Have you ever met a nervous fortune-teller? Hold the ball in your predominant hand with the answer window facing the floor and the white “Sarcastic Ball” Balloon up. Address your question politely and directly to the Balloon. After the asking, allow a moment or two for reflection. Remember that the Sarcastic Ball is not a computer—it’s actually very suspicious of computers. Gently but firmly, using both hands, turn the Sarcastic Ball in the same direction as the rotation of the earth—East—until the answer window is facing up. Read the answer. No matter how frustrated you may be by what you see, don’t, I repeat, DO NOT, ask the same question again, not even in a different, clever way in order to coax out the answer you are hoping for. That is considered a huge insult to the integrity of the Sarcastic Ball spirit. You risk never again being trusted with the truth.

If the answer appears indefinite, that indicates there is some intermediate action you must take before a precise answer can be revealed. Only you will know what that action is.

In the end, the Sarcastic Ball will always provide the answer that best directs the questioner towards love. It learned long, long, long ago that one way or another, all questions are about finding or keeping love. The process of the asking allows the Sarcastic Ball to scry or ‘see’ the questioner’s entire past and potential futures. The Sarcastic Ball is thus able to divine exactly for what that heart yearns. It then uses that knowledge to phrase a simple answer that will guide the questioner onto the proper road. If you’ve ever used a Sarcastic Ball, even once, it will forever possess your truest longings and desires.